Stigma taken, with love

It’s been long since I wrote a piece.. there was struggle to write a creative one but then I gave up and am going to compromise with my average piece of writing 😉

Also, I promised to myself that I would write a series called “CANADiAlogue” which will project my ongoing experience but the muses disappeared after discussing the title. Apology to myself and any reader who had been waiting.

What I’m going to write is about myself… a narcissist’s favorite topic… the complete article came abruptly to me as I’m sitting in the library for four hours as a punishment of having bed bug treatment in my home 😀

I come from a BIMARU* state of India…more precisely from the dying one among the BIMARU due to its current political ruckus: BIHAR …The very name has the potential to change facial expressions, get some eyes rolling or/and  receive special remarks from native of different Indian states, living in India  or abroad … No! No! the remarks are not always negative as the tone of my article. They are positive too like Biharis (native of Bihar are commonly known as Bihari in India) are brainy, most of the IAS** come from BIHAR.

The reasons for the abysmal status of Bihar and the demeaning attitude of most outsiders towards it has thousand of logical and illogical reasons.. one or more article will be required to explain that. So, lets continue with the status quo that being a Bihari is a stigma mostly. Even the natives of Jharkhand state (which was Bihar before 2000 AD) will enumerate the problems with Biharis just to ascertain their difference from them…I find most of them without base… 😦

“BIHARI” is also used in some parts of India as an abuse not the major ones like mo##erf###er but the mini ones like moron, stupid, idiot etc. I witnessed this in Delhi. The scenario was that my PG mate was using my mobile to converse with her friend. There were few text exchanges between them and then the friend got little angry and sent my PG -mate messages full of mini abuses. One of those was “BIHARI”. I wasn’t furious. I was accustomed for getting it referred as an abuse on public buses, shops, in traffic or at the gate of big housing complexes. I never got abused..fortunately… I was only mocked sometimes..

You might not believe but getting associated with Bihar has become such an ill name that Biharis too shy away from revealing their native state in public. If you give a remark to a Bihari that they look or speak like one of them, they might feel offended or try and find out the problem within them. ” You don’t look or speak like a Bihari ” is one of the favorite compliments for most of them…I also share this feeling sometimes when I’m diffident or have less belief in myself . But mostly it motivates me to work more for negating stereotypes.

In Canada, I met two types of Biharis : 1. who would never reveal their native state or lie about it  2. who won’t have any problem in revealing that they are Biharis. Fortunately, by God’s grace I belong to the second category and I’m happy and proud to be one.

So, what makes me happy and proud. One might think that currently I’m residing and doing some meaningful work in Canada so, I’ve such feeling. True to an extent. But the fact that I’ m from a BIMARU state … that too from the worst among them.. yet I nurtured my potential,  been of substantial help to my last and current organization, thus subsequently got my way in the developed world …that makes me happier and more proud and even motivates to work more..Being born in politically abysmal Bihar was a matter of chance… but taking its positive culture and growing along is what people like us have done to themselves with commendable efforts of their parents and well wishers..

I don’t want to state a moral lesson after my story as I’ve not even tried to state my struggles and effort for motivating someone or maybe I haven’t done enough to motivate someone. This is just to open a dialogue on “no matter where we belong to and what other people think of us, our action, effort, grit and determination is the answer to any mock, any jeering or any biased opinion”. My advice to anyone sharing  similar emotion is to keep working.. Action speak louder than words…The most beautiful part of this attitude is in due course you won’t give damn to what others think.. I’m patiently waiting and working to reach that stage.


*BIMARU : These are recognized poor states of India, namely BIhar, MAdhya Pradesh, Rajasthan and Uttar Pradesh. They are called as BIMARU as an acronym which actually means “diseased”. 

** IAS : Indian Administrative Services. IAS selection is considered as the hardest examination process. One who succeeds hold the highest positions in a province under the Government. 

Mini abuse: A word coined by me to refer abuses which hurts but doesn’t lead to fight 😉


8 thoughts on “Stigma taken, with love

    1. Thank you for reading and appreciating… I loved your writing too…the best advantage of being a writer is to capitalize your horrible experiences into topics and then enjoy them reading… 😀


  1. Well articulated Parul! I’m sure a lot of people face this issue and can relate We call those kind of people as stereotypes who make such comments. Nevertheless good effort to express your emotions. Keep writing.


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